Orders in hand...

We have orders in hand. We're now a Blue Star Family. Ok, not in my hand, I refuse to pick up my copy from the pile of stuff and contradicting info I've been given. I refuse to look at paperwork that says July-08. Right now I'm trying to deal with understanding TRICARE so that we can continue to see our Drs but all their info really pushes 'Prime' and people on the phone seem amazed that I would want to *pay* to see a Dr when I could just truck 40miles up the highway to the MTF for free. Um-huh, yeah right! As much as I refuse to participate in this I have to, stuff must be done and paperwork turned in. I have to take the kids out of school early to go get ID cards, even though they still don't know if Josh will get one (you have to be 10, but you can't get medical treatment w/o one). Oh yeah. I love the military ::eye roll:

Well fuck!

They just fucking called to activate him... I told them I would not take the message, to call him on his cell. He thanked me and hung up. So now I still know nothing. And to top it all off both the kids and I are sick, very sick. In and out of the bathroom for days sick. Lying in bed puking sick. I'm so tired of the smell of puke I could scream!

Easier last time

I think perhaps it was easier last time when we only had two days notice. This is too much emotion and sadness before.

Am I strong? ... No

People keep saying I can do this, I'm a strong woman. I've been through cancer and all that and done just fine, this should be a piece of cake. I wasn't strong then, and I'm not strong now. I cry in the dark and don't bother people with my troubles. That doesn't make me strong. Coping doesn't make me strong, neither does making it through tough times. I faked my way through breast cancer, and I suppose I'll fake my way through this. I'm not a strong woman though, I just fake it well.