I swear it's my fault...

I just so feel like I've brought this on myself. I was wishing he'd just take the kids and leave so I could do my life over in peace. And now look what I got... He'll be gone but I still can't start over. I still have the kids, I still have this life, and now I'm really stuck here. I never intended to be a single parent, that's why I chose this way. I need to stop wishing for things I shouldn't and just accept this life but I'm so frustrated. I don't want to do it alone, just re-do parts of it.