I'm tired

I just can't shake the feeling that he won't be coming home from this deployment. I'm tired of the waves of anxiety that wash over me. I'm tired of crying. I'm tired of solo-parenting. I'm tired of having the kids with me 24 hours a day. I'm tired of people telling me I have to be Proud of my Spouse. I can't be, I just can't. Havent I had enough challenges in my life? When does it stop? I'm tired damnit.